I've Been Lazy.

Really. I have. No posts here for quite some time now, guess I've really just been lazy... no other explanation.

Anyway. Happy halloween, guys? Hahaha. :)

Peek-a-boo! I see you!

I Just...

watched Cinema Paradiso twice today (despite Kas 1 Final Exam being tomorrow). Once alone, once with mom. I believe I am on a CP high. Hehehe.

Toto!

Movie Soundtrack Favorites: Instrumentals (Part 1)

Ever since I was small, I've always been a music lover. Yes, music. I don't know exactly how to describe my feelings towards it. Music can make you laugh... make you cry... it's all just too wonderful. I guess I have my father to thank for my love of music. I still remember the days when he'd play Right Said Fred's Up album and I'd dance to it... or even the True Romance soundtrack... (oddly enough, I'd dance to that, too!) Now that I have this blog, I figured, why not share my love for music here? So, that's exactly what I'm doing now. In this entry, I bring you my movie soundtrack favorites.

1. Cinema Paradiso by Ennio Morricone

If you've seen the film, you have no heart if you don't feel all warm and fuzzy inside whenever you listen to this track. You are like a stone. Audioslave. Hehehe. Every time I listen to this, I reminisce about the film and always get to that point where I feel like I'm about to cry? Yeah. *sigh*

Cinema Paradiso (1988)

2. The Lonely Shepherd by Gheorghe Zamfir

You gotta admit. The man has some of the best soundtracks out there. And by "man" I mean Quentin Tarantino. It is a SIN not to know that!!!

Kill Bill, Vol. 1 (2003)

3. Father Kolbe's Preaching by Burkhard Dallwitz

I recall watching this with my parents on laserdisc. They did not enjoy the film. I've always wondered why... 'cause I really did. I was just so amused by the idea of pretty much everything around someone being completely fabricated... They were probably expecting a comedy since it was a Jim Carrey film... and also because the stupid trailer makes it appear to be a FUNNY flick. Perfect example of a bad trailer. Here. (Lol, they used that track from "Four Rooms") Moving on... When I watched it again recently, it had a somewhat different vibe to me. I sort of took a hit from the film and couldn't help but feel sympathetic towards Truman.

The Truman Show (1998)

4. One Summer's Day by Joe Hisaishi

Beauty, power, mystery, and above all, heart. (If you noticed, I just copied that quote off the poster. hehehe. It's true though.)

Spirited Away (2001)

5. Remember Me by Heitor Pereira

I have to admit, I'm a sucker for oldies falling in love. It was so cute! Anyway, this isn't the only song on the soundtrack that's good. The others, mostly French songs, are pretty good as well. Actually got the album after seeing the movie.

Something's Gotta Give (2003)

6. Dead Already by Thomas Newman

This has to be one of my most favorite movies of all time. I can watch this again and again. If you haven't seen this one, you should. I remember how different it was watching it for the first time and the other times. The first time, I still remember just staring blankly at the credits rolling, going over the events in the film. For the other times, well, I'm just going to say that knowing what was going to take place in the film changed things. If you don't get me, go see it. You must! you must!

American Beauty (1999)

7. You're So Cool by Hans Zimmer

This was the song I used to dance to. HAHAHA.

True Romance (1993)

8. Toto & Alfredo by Ennio Morricone

I just had to end with another Cinema Paradiso favorite. :)

I will forever love this film...

Now, we arrive at the end of my first movie soundtrack favorites entry on instrumentals. Check back soon for the second part. Really hope I didn't waste your time, hope you enjoyed.

Dear Alexis,

Hello. My name is Butchito, and I am a first year film student in UP Diliman.

First off, please forgive me in advance for my casual tone. I'm not used to writing letters for people... more so, those I have never personally encountered.

Recently, I've had the chance to get to know you more. I was able to read your Rogue article, your wish list (canonical!), and some of your reviews online. I also saw you on ANC with Butch Dalisay and Carlo J. Caparas discussing the issue of the latter's recent award. (I'm just going to be straightforward.) He disgusts me, I swear! I can't forget that part of the show where he tried proving himself worthy by flaunting his drawings for everyone to see. It was amazing to see how well you kept your cool in that situation.

Anyway, I really admire you. Relax... I'm not some deranged freak fan ala Alexa in Quark's A Date with Jao Mapa. I'm just a normal guy. I think. I guess I just really admire the love for film that you so clearly possessed. I love how you so badly wanted reforms for Philippine Cinema, and the lengths you went to try and accomplish just that. There aren't many like you.

We recently concluded our creative writing class with a recital, and for that, I had decided to do a piece on you. It was a bit tough changing my work at the last minute (totally a spur of the moment decision), but I didn't care. So, there. I ended up cramming my work a bit, but I really did feel it was all worth it in the end.

I know how much you loved the Kings of Convenience, so I played their music as I read my work aloud. Moreover, I prepared a picture slideshow to go along with my "speech". The slideshow contained several pictures of you, Nika, and some films I mentioned.

Without further ado, here it is...

            "I know sometimes you may think that it was the fact that we worked in the same field that attracted me to you, but I must tell you that this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Why? Because one of the greatest joys I believe one can feel is to share that which they find beautiful with someone who otherwise wouldn’t have noticed it, and to see it appreciated."

            These were Alexis' words to Nika in a letter he wrote for her back in 2008. A year later, they'd be dead.

            Alexis Tioseco, a respectable film critic, and his partner, Nika Bohinc were both murdered on the night of September 1, 2009. Alexis' body was found beaten and bruised, his right hand even shot at. On his left, a key was found. The key to the house. He had been shot while still holding the keys to his own home. He was 28. To this day, it is unclear whether robbery was the true motive behind the crime. Moreover, the killers are still at large.

            Though I mention these details, I am not here to further expose anything; on the contrary, I'm here to share Alexis' life with you. As he stated, he found great joy in sharing what he found beautiful with others who wouldn't have noticed it, and seeing it appreciated. I share the same sentiments as he. Today, I have but one desire: To enlighten you with his life and passion for Philippine Cinema, the subjects I find beautiful.

            Alexis grew up in Canada. In 1997, his father decided that he, along with his older brother, move to the Philippines. Though at first, as a teenager, he was hesitant, he eventually agreed. The primary reason behind their migration being that their father needed someone to groom to take over the family business, finally growing weary of constant trips back and forth from Vancouver to Manila.

            While he, in time, adjusted and ended up falling in love with the country, his brother Chris never quite settled in Manila. After graduating in 2001, Chris moved back to Vancouver. This left only Alexis to fulfill his father's desire. After graduating from a business management course, he began to work. He lasted from June to November of 2004 before admitting that he couldn’t do it any longer. His father told everyone who asked that he had fired him when, in fact, Alexis had quit. His father never really understood Alexis' passion for film.

            The first proper review of a Filipino film that Alexis wrote was on Lav Diaz’s Batang West Side. He was in his college junior year when he had seen the film, apparently not having known anything about it beforehand. The film ended up opening Alexis' eyes, making him seriously think about what it meant to be a Filipino. Months had passed after writing the review, and still very little literature was available about the film. This prompted Alexis to get in touch with Lav Diaz himself to do an interview. He was satisfied with the results; the 12 page article ended up being published in a local website. Comments turned up on the site, and they touched Alexis. As it turned out, there were people who were interested in reading serious writing on cinema.

The more he saw, specifically local indies, the more he wanted to write. The feeling of responsibility and that need... that need to share that which he found beautiful grew within him. Before he knew it, what started out as a simple curiosity turned into a serious commitment.

Alexis Tioseco became a brilliant, outspoken critic, unafraid of harsh attacks from anyone. He stood by his beliefs, simply wanting all the best for Philippine cinema, our cinema. He was someone who had not even grown up here, yet he became more passionate and knowledgeable in our cinema than most people, specifically those who have even lived here all their life. He understood the relevance of cinema to our society and the important need to address all its problems. Most of all, he never did what he did for himself, he did it for the country.

His death had sparked a movement within the film society. There is now an Alexis Tioseco internship program, which conditions its participants in film programming, film criticism, archiving and preservation, among others. There is also "Philippine New Wave", a book on digital filmmaking in the Philippines, which was dedicated to Alexis.

We have the responsibility to continue what he left behind. I am not pressuring anyone into doing anything drastic. All I'm suggesting is that put a little more thought the next time we think of supporting a Mano Po 2099 or Shake, Rattle, and Roll 500. Let us not forget the greats, De Leon, Bernal, Brocka, to name a few, who have made unforgettable, timeless, thought-provoking films. Let us give a chance to independent filmmakers in the country, many of whom who strive to share their vision, yet lack the audience or the support to do so.

I now end this with a few lines from Alexis' Wishlist for Philippine Cinema:

I wish there were more books on Philippine cinema.

I wish we had a fully supported Film Museum.

I wish film were taught in high schools.

I wish that Carlo J. Caparas were not a National Artist. [As of writing, he wasn't]

I wish Mike De Leon would make another movie. . . . Please . . . we need it.

I wish and would love to read the rest of Nick De Ocampo's projected four to five volume history of Philippine Cinema- at least someone is writing it.

I wish we focused our attention more on audience education, development, and literacy, than on dumbing down films to pander to them.

I wish Philippine cinema all the success in the world...

***End of Piece***

Yup, that's about it.

Regardless of whether or not it sucked, one thing's certain: I sure felt I had accomplished something just by reading it. To be honest, reading it aloud to a room of about thirty persons got me kind of nervous at first, but for some reason, as I read it, I had a totally different feeling within me. I don't know exactly how to describe it. I'm just going to say that that anxiety I felt beforehand totally vanished. I was even surprised with myself when I had suddenly gotten emotional inside. Yeah. I didn't cry or anything, but I swear I felt tears swell up in my eyes. It was... weird. I don't know if it's just because I'm not used to experiencing a sudden rush of emotions that I was so taken aback by what I had felt. Tears of pain? Of joy? Of love? I have absolutely no idea. A mix of it all, possibly.

It may have been awful reading your own story from someone else, but I just hope you understand what this all meant. You lived a good life, and now, you are an inspiration to many. You have left us with somewhat of a legacy, and we now have the responsibility to preserve it. Though you did not create Philippine Cinema, you, in your own ways, have shaped it. For that, I thank you.

So, here's to the future of Philippine cinema, may it be better than it is today.

Your Fanboy,

Butchito

P.S. See you later.

It's Nice to...

reflect in the shower. That's where I recall the weirdest things. 

An Encounter with A Gay Celebrity

This is my friend's (who will remain anonymous) account of what took place during our Batangas trip over the summer. 

Enjoy.     

My motto for our holy week getaway to the beach was “I’m game for anything”. If my companions Butch and Tim had listened to my usual bull, I’m sure they would have picked this up quite a number of times. Speaking of quite a number, this battle cry was put to the test during our experience with quite a number of homosexual males. Had it been the other gender of gays, I would never have come back to Manila. Anyway, it was really late into the second night of our trip when we were walking along the shore (past an array of resorts) and guess what, ***** was there, and queerer than ever too! Butch, being the film and showbiz junkie that he was, just had to have a picture. Right after, the celebrity invited us to hang for a while. We, determined to repel the lazy sea vibes, obliged just for the heck of it.            

Right off the bat, we were given a shot of Cuervo by an apparent director with boob implants. I still wonder if he has endowed himself with a vagina to match. With him was the abovementioned in his usual flamboyant disposition and another more reserved queer who single-handedly affirms the Pinoy’s generally poor quality of English, all the while refusing to speak any other language and straining our ears with sub-Pacquiao grammar and occasional bursts of “I miss high school!” The deceptive “direk” gave us “last shots” after “last shots”, ironically insisting that “I don’t lie!” whenever we argued, which was after every time. All in all, we took about 5-7 each, which was fine since the steady pacing caused us not to feel much of it. Aside from this, his gay gaze and eccentric sexual aura held us helpless of doing otherwise. More on pencil pushers, ***** interviewed Tim and I chronologically, and we were rendered prisoners to his playful hands as they went about our thighs and shoulders. I was lucky enough to have my left nipple tampered with as well, and when I half-jokingly cursed and shoved his hand aside, he indignantly got my hand and rubbed it on his tit, reasoning that it was the only way to be fair. We also widened our “voGAYbulary” as he translated some phrases we gave into gay phrases. A few that I recall are “najajana kita” for I can understand what you’re saying (useful when you suspect gays to be talking about you), “chuva” which serves as a flexible substitute for almost any word (such as “chuva tayo!” for “let’s party!”), and of course the unforgettable “kakangkangin kita” which translates to I will screw you, or more gaily: I will screw your anus. I was thoroughly blessed to not have heard the latter phrase in a different context since they admitted to not having “wholesome” intentions when we had just met. In fact, ***** himself proclaimed to have been sexually attracted to yours truly as we were waving our goodbyes. Hopefully, it was just an effect of the alcohol, seeing as he swigged every shot that we turned down. 

Regardless, I was genuinely happy to have met and interacted with these people. I can hardly remember encountering more eccentric personalities after more than 18 years of life, and what is life without shared experiences to enrich the self and embellish the memories? Someday down the line, I’m sure we’ll be laughing about that fateful night of April fool’s over mistresses and coffee. For now, we walk on with a lust for life, our heads held high and our asses intact. 

Emo Musings...

I lay on my bed, looking into space. I think of you... of you and me. Nothing special ever happened, but there was something there. The special part could have followed. But it didn't. You didn't come through.

I stare in front of me. I see you, but so far away. We are at an endless corridor... and there you are at the end of it. I just can't reach you. 

Why did you have to erase yourself from my life? Why? Was it me? What did I do? Can we try again, please? I feel so far away from you. I don't like it one bit. I want to be near you. I want to see you smile right next to me. Why couldn't it have been like that?

We were just friends. I spent times thinking about how it could have turned into something special... I presumed you thought the same, at least to some degree.

It was stupid of me to think of things looking up for us. It didn't happen. Things crumbled to dust along the way... now completely blown away by the wind. Gone.

I want to end with a goodbye, but I can't. Not yet, all thanks to you.


...Fuck you.